Memo to Old Man Winter: WTF?

Sorry, pardon our French, but this relentless chill has taken a toll on us. We thought we lived in Miami, a place so sunny and warm that women could saunter around in little more than a few inches of fabric, and priests could chat up said women in short sleeves.

But we haven't seen a bikini in days. Which got us thinking that maybe you, too, might be freezing your cockles off, and in need of something to warm your frostbitten soul.

Allow us to recommend Spoonful of Comfort, delivering jars of chicken-filled goodness straight to your door.

You might know Spoonful of Comfort as the soup-delivering service to lean on when you hear that a friend has the flu, or a relative has a severe case of the Mondays. But in light of the recent meteorological travesties, we're suggesting you call your own number this time and bring Spoonful's homespun goodness right into your living room.

The stuff couldn't be more down-home. Started by a family in central Florida, they cook a fresh batch of soup every day and use only the simplest ingredients: chicken stock, chicken, noodles, carrots, celery and onions.

And it's ridiculously convenient: place your order online and the next day they'll ship out a 64-ounce jar, along with fresh-baked rolls and oatmeal raisin cookies if you want.

They'll send everything but a Slanket. As usual, you are responsible for your own Slanket.