Leisure

Crazy Train

Just a Few Absurd Ways to Exercise

Look, you’re better than that elliptical over there. Yes, the one harboring last week’s dry cleaning. So first... go to the dry cleaner. But then, pick up some boulders. Run in a bubble. Toss around a mace. Because it’s time to amp up your exercise regimen in fantastically weird ways. Like so...

FOR THE ARMS

Playing with Really Heavy Ropes

The Workout: Battle ropes.
The Plan: Picking up a few 50- to 100-foot ropes, followed by whipping, slamming and dragging them using different grips.
The Result: In the short term, forgoing party toasts. In the long term, using a jeroboam as your toasting vessel of choice.

FOR THE LUNGS

Jogging on the Beach. In a Bubble.

The Workout: Bubble running.
The Plan: Driving out to Hollywood at sunrise, renting a beach bubble and running in said bubble while it bobs up and down in the ocean. Focus. On. The. Horizon.
The Result: Hey, nice tan.

FOR THE LEGS

Jumping Around in Crazy Boots

The Workout: Boing with Kangoo.
The Plan: Strapping on a pair of spring-loaded jump boots, then squatting, jumping and lunging for an hour.
The Result: Not feeling ridiculous. At all.

FOR THE CORE

Swinging Around a Steel Mace

The Workout: Anatomy Academy mace training.
The Plan: Squatting, deadlifting and pounding the ever-loving tar out of a massive tire with a long steel mace.
The Result: A significant reduction in job-related stress.

FOR THE... EVERYTHING

Lifting Really, Really Heavy Things

The Workout: Strongman training. Like those guys on TV pulling cars and stuff.
The Plan: The owner here is the number one ranked strongman in the state. He’s the one who’ll be running you through the paces. Boulder lifting, keg throwing, etc. Simple.
The Result: Really impressive party tricks involving beer receptacles.