<em>Born on the Fourth of the Weekend</em>
Your Perks: 1) A 24-day supply of tablets that’ll help you cure hangovers. Biggest breakthrough in science since, we don’t know, name a big one... 2) An underwater drone with an HD camera. Like you don’t need one of those. 3) Vintage Rolexes for people who like gold, diamond and stunning things.
Chances are high you will see a swimming pool and sunshine this weekend. So it’s best to equip yourself with some particularly attractive swim trunks and pants that hit above your knee. Fortunately, Stag has both. Double fortunately, they’re on sale now for 25% off.
In the spirit of cooperation and popsicles, High Fives, Barcadia and Beauty Bar are teaming up to host a block party on Friday. There will be $1 hot dogs, live music, plenty of beer and, yes, popsicles. The intoxicating kind. The best kind.
It’s back. The Libertine’s corn-dog-fueled ode to America, wherein people gather to competitively eat corn dogs, drink beer and celebrate their right to do both. You can enter the contest, or you can just observe, which is probably the safer choice.
You’ll need to attend some kind of pool function to test out your new swim trunks. So here’s this poolside party at the Belmont Hotel, where you can eat street tacos, drink drinks and watch some fireworks while evaluating the buoyancy of your newly clad legs.
Jaws 3-D. Not as good as regular Jaws. But that’s why they invented beer and laughing. So get to Alamo on Sunday, and you can watch this campy 3D sequel with its waterskiing and its harpoon guns and its Dennis Quaid. You’re gonna need a bigger beer.
