Something is about to happen to you.

Not a little something. A huge something.

The kind of something you’ll tell your grandchildren about one day.

Ready, here goes: you’re getting a Dell.

Just kidding, you’re getting a personal Bloody Mary bartender for your office.

Behold the Deskside Bloody Mary, a damn-near-unbelievable-but-entirely-real service wherein a bartender pays you an office visit with the sole purpose of making Bloody Marys for you at your desk, available now.

And there it is. A random bartender armed with vodka and Worcestershire sauce hanging out next to your desk. That’s about to happen to you.

Put in a call a couple days before you require assistance (they’ll also see about working with you on shorter notice if you ask nicely). You’ll be assigned a bartender. You’ll tell her how you take your Bloodys. Then, she’ll bust into your office Kool-Aid-Man-style (or you know, politely knock and enter) with the homemade pepper-infused vodka, okra juice and blue-cheese-stuffed olives you requested.

And then... well, she’ll tend bar. Right there next to your desk. You and her.

Oh, and should you think of anything else that could enhance your deskside cocktail experience, just hand over a list. She’ll do the shopping for you.

Schnitzel. Some schnitzel might be nice.