Brother Jimmy’s BBQ. Perhaps you’ve heard the stories. Perhaps you’ve tried the rib tips. Perhaps you’ve gone into their newly opened Brickell space with a team of engineers, mathematicians and competition-barbecue judges to break down the joint from every conceivable angle. Or not. But that’s okay. Because we did. And the data, well, it’s collected below.

Menu items containing 12-hour hickory-smoked pork: 6
Average amount of wet-naps required per item: 2.7
Frickles (that’s fried pickles) served on premises: 1
Places outside of this restaurant where it’s okay to use the word “frickles”: 0
Number of days before liquor service: 2 (fingers crossed)
Cocktails that’ll be served in pitchers: 15
Shooters that’ll contain whiskey: 3
... And frickle/pickle juice: 1
Skee-ball machines: 1
Galaga cabinets: 1
Minutes you should wait between eating the Flaming Pig Out platter and playing skee-ball: 30
Hand-painted maps on the wall featuring North Carolina’s best barbecue cities: 1
Cities in North Carolina that are now on your bucket list: 13
Live-performance stages featuring a huge sculpture of a Lone Star symbol: 1
Number of picnic tables bedecked with the Stars and Stripes: 2
Best time to come here: Sundays
Worst time to come here: date night
Girl-to-guy-ratio: 1:2
Brisket-to-guy-ratio: considerably more favorable