The secret to a perfectly cooked steak is pretty simple.

A choice cut (something from the short loin).

A touch of sea salt (something from the Mediterranean).

A pinch of paprika (just because you like to say the word “paprika”).

And, of course, a really, really, really hot briefcase.

Presenting the Darwin Triangular BBQ, a solid steel briefcase that can quickly unfold into a snappy little charcoal grill, available now.

Picture a briefcase. Now picture opening it up and cooking a cheeseburger on it. Now picture yourself pretending you’re not a crazy person.

Because this thing, it’s no joke. Just a 12-inch portable charcoal grill that’s folded up inside a piece of carry-on luggage. Okay, so it’s sort of totally a joke.

Theoretically, you could bring this thing to the office. Maybe pack up some pork loin to take with you to work. Then, when lunch rolls around, snap open the steel case, throw some Kingsford in the ash pan and fire it up with your trusty blowtorch (you should have one in your desk). If not, matches should do.

Of course, even in the event your place of business subscribes to things like “fire codes,” you’ll still want to own one of these. After all, it’s summer. And you never know when/where a cookout emergency will strike.

Just don’t try to take this through airport security.