Today’s adventure begins with your own car and driver. So far, so good.

Let’s not worry about where it’s going to take you just yet. But know when you get there you can play with fire. Also: cougars.

For now, just say hello to the twofer that is Cesco Osteria and Co2 Lounge, soft-opening tonight.

Okay, we’ll spill it. It’s in Bethesda. But hold on: they’ve brought with them a celebrated Italian chef and artwork of naked people engulfed in flames (it’s tasteful).
 
First thing: you’ll call them for pickup and a car will whisk you up there. (If you’re in the hood, they also have pedicabs with heated blankets.) When you arrive, you’ll see giant jets of flame out front (no nude women this time) and, on certain nights, maybe a cello player or tango dancers in the dining room.

You can take a seat and dive into bresaola focaccia and prosecco-braised osso buco, but it’s only a stepping-stone for what’s to come. Namely, a window-side, white-leather couch in the neighboring lounge, DJ beats and tableside “decanted spirit service.”

Now for the bonus round: you can order off the menu to-go anytime before last call. Also, should matters become pressing, they’ll book you a discounted room at the Hyatt around the corner.

Just ask for the cougar rate.