Leisure

St. Patty's Day

The Five Irish Bartenders You Need to Know

<em>St. Patty's is upon us, and in the spirit of the day, a large portion of our fair city's residents willdecamp to an Irish pub of their choosing. But as the thinking man's drinker, you'd no sooner stumble into abar without knowing who's serving the pints than you would pick your NCAA brackets blindfolded. In theinterest of furthering informed imbibing, here are five barkeeps you need to know.</em>

PATRICK WALSH, bartender, 3 years
P.J. Clarke's

Best time to get into the bar:As early as humanly possible. We open at 11am. We usually already have people waiting outside from 10-10:30am.
Prime real estate: As close as you can get to the bar in the saloon.
Real Irish to fake Irish:I couldn't even tell you...everyone on St.Patrick's Day is honorary Irish.
Hook-ups to throw-ups:There are a lot more people wearing shirts that say "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" than there are people carrying around green sick bags.
Specialty of the house: Corned Beef. For one day of the year, we do the best corned beef in Manhattan.
Time of last man standing:4am.
Bathroom situation:Two upstairs, two downstairs, and the famous bathroom with the hundred-year-old urinal in the saloon.
Best way to flag you down: Have your drink order ready and be congenial...
Recommended drinking strategy:Pace yourself and go easy on the shots.
Best way to pick up an Irish girl:You have to buy her a drink and bring your A game, because there is nobody like an Irish woman to put you in your place.

FRANK McCUTCHEN, bartender, 13 years
Chumley's

Best time to get into the bar: Right after the parade.
Prime real estate: One of the tables that is close to the bar.
Real Irish to fake Irish: 50/50.
Hook-ups to throw-ups: Definitely more hook-ups than throw-ups. Only because we don't stay open that late where you get a chance to throw up.
Specialty of the house: The Burger, Onion Rings and Calamari.
Time of last man standing: We try to get everyone out of here at 2:30am.
Bathroom situation: One men's, one women's.
Best way to flag you down: Just make eye contact. I usually take who was here first.
Recommended drinking strategy: Try not to guzzle. Keep steady. Have two or three beers a hour and eat something.
Best way to pick up an Irish girl: Buy her a drink and smile.

MICHEAL BRANNIGAN, bartender, 16 years
McSorley's Old Ale House

Best time to get into the bar: When we are closed. Or you can wait for the first crop to get kicked out at about 10pm.
Prime real estate: By the door...it's less crowded.
Real Irish to fake Irish: The four on staff, and then the rest.
Hook-ups to throw-ups: There is a lot of hooking up in here on St. Patrick's Day, but definitely more throwing up. It's about 30/70.
Specialty of the house: McSorley's Ale...that's all we've got.
Time of last man standing: 1am.
Bathroom situation: One very busy bathroom.
Best way to flag you down: With a $20 bill...$50 if you want immediate attention or special service. It's all about the Benjamins.
Recommended drinking strategy: Slow and steady. Enjoy every drop—that's how we do it.
Best way to pick up an Irish girl: Is that a trick question? We haven't been very successful at that.

PETER O'CONNELL, bartender, 40 years
Molly's Pub & Restaurant, Shebeen

Best time to get into the bar: Noon to 7pm.
Prime real estate: The booths are very comfortable.
Real Irish to fake Irish: 3 to 1.
Hook-ups to throw-ups: More love stories begin here than heartaches.
Specialty of the house: Corned beef and cabbage with a pint of Guinness—what else would you have?
Time of last man standing: 4:20am.
Bathroom situation: One men's and one ladies'.
Best way to flag you down: A hundred dollar tip will catch my attention.
Recommended drinking strategy: Always eat and pace yourself.
Best way to pick up an Irish girl: Just be nice.

TADHG HEALY, bartender, 10 years
O'Flaherty Ale House & Restaurant

Best time to get into the bar: The best time to come is for lunch at 11:30am.
Prime real estate: On the patio. When the parade is on, people savor the ambiance of the parade.
Real Irish to fake Irish: Well, everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day.
Hook-ups to throw-ups: 99% of the people we get in here are very well-behaved.
Specialty of the house: The Irish stew.
Time of last man standing: 4am.
Bathroom situation: Five bathrooms.
Best way to flag you down: You don't need to flag us down; our bartenders are professional.
Recommended drinking strategy: Eat and drink slowly.
Best way to pick up an Irish girl: Have your colors on and look the part. Be a gentleman at all times.