There's no reason to be here in August.
...We'll assume you agree.
So let's drop the pretense of you getting any work done tomorrow and just get an amazing Airbnb so we can get the hell out of here. No one needs your work that badly. We've found some really ludicrous options, so grab some friends. Find another couple. Hell, rent the whole damn thing yourself. Just go.
Here are five places that are bucolic AF and still available from tonight through Monday...