Odds are, you haven’t dedicated your days to engineering stacks of meats, carbs and cheeses in an effort to achieve unparalleled levels of burger-related bliss.

Unless you’re esteemed burger-blogger Mathew Ramsey.

In which case... good effort. Time well spent.

Everyone else, lean on the expertise of his soon-to-be-released PornBurger: a book full of drool-inducing photos, recipes and techniques for creating an extensive burger catalog. It’s available for preorder now.

These burgers: they’re excessive. They’re indulgent. They possess extremely irreverent and occasionally questionable names.

Take, for example, the Birthday Sex (beef patties, bacon, truffle whipped goat cheese, foie gras mousse, cherry-and-caramelized-onion cake). Take, for another example, the Mac Daddy (fried mac-and-cheese bun, jerk-rubbed bacon, lobster).

Take, for even more examples, a look at this slideshow.

Hope you’ve already eaten.