Today, we’d like you to make the acquaintance of the River Yacht Club.

It’s a new waterfront restaurant, bar and, yes, yacht club for whiling away afternoons with crudos and magnums of rosé. It’s now open on the Miami River, here's what it looks like and here's the menu.

Now. Let’s get right to your fake questions...

Do I need to own a yacht to get in?
Nope. The restaurant and lounge are open to everyone.

Probably smart. Why is its riverside location amazing?
It looks like the Babylon Gardens reincarnated itself in the middle of the city with palms, bougainvillea vines and just enough navy, copper and rope to give it some nautical cred.

Nice. What about that crudo?
They’ve got a few of those. But also, grilled crab and plenty of mollusks. You enjoy mollusks.

How do you know?
We just do.

Fair enough. But what if I just want to enjoy the sunset with a drink?
They’ve partnered up with VanDutch to open a lounge on their rooftop terrace, so you can do that.

Say I do own a yacht. Then what?
Well, there are different levels of membership that grant you special privileges, including a spot to dock your boat.

Yacht parking is impossible these days.
This seems like a good place to stop.