Hello.

Welcome back.

Right. On to the part about life-affirming things like Fruity Pebbles desserts and Bloodys with spare ribs in them...

You look like you could use some Alternative Breakfast Foods, just a few very different yet very delightful ways to enjoy the meal they call “the most important.” This slideshow should probably be edible.

And the things in it (your breakfast pizzas, your breakfast egg rolls, your breakfast ramens...) are setting the bar pretty high. Sorry, yogurt. You, too, Toaster Strudels.

It’s fun to say strudel.