You hear “Montana” and you probably think of sprawling ranches, towering peaks, a ghost town or two...

Maybe Ted Turner riding a horse...

But sorry, wrong Montana.

Because this is Nira Montana, a just-opened, 55-room house of respite in the Italian Alps and therefore nowhere close to Montana, USA, now taking reservations. (See the slideshow.)

It’ll all go something like this.

Arrive in La Thuile. Your backdrop is snowy Mont Blanc, the Alps’ tallest mountain. So the scenery is okay, we guess.

Select your quarters. You’ve got 55 rooms to choose from, each with picturesque views and plenty of space. But only a handful have geometric deer heads on the wall. So get one of those.

Play in the snow. The mountain splits France and Italy, so be fair and let both enjoy the majesty of your skiing.

Don’t go hungry. Instead eat prosciutto crudo, tagliolini and other very Italian dishes at the on-site restaurant, Stars. You’ll need something to soak up all that wine. (See the menu.)

Relax. Take a dip in the indoor pool before hitting the spa for a full-body massage. Hey, you earned it.

Or you wanted it, at least.