You’ve got one week until your 2013 resolutions kick in—one week until you devote your days to doing CrossFit and rescuing orphans and wrapping them in kale. Or something. That means you’ve got eight days to do the opposite of all that. Go nuts.
In 2013, you’re all about fiscal responsibility. In the waning hours of 2012, might as well book the infamous private restaurant behind the Bazaar at SLS for you and 29 friends. There’ll be 20 courses, endless champagne, a pound of caviar and $15,000 deducted from your savings account.
Whatever your dietary plans for the new year, safe to assume they don’t include much eggnog. Or ice cream. Or pie. So you’d better hurry up and put down as many of Sweet Rose Creamery’s new Eggnog Ice Cream Pies as you can before then. Don’t think, just chew.
Time to stop buying crazy things for your place. You’ve only used that daiquiri shower like 12 times. You know what, though, it would be tough to revise your resolutions in the dark—so a $6,500 gummy bear chandelier made for a kids TV show might help you out. Or might not.
Most people put down a burger now and then. No harm done. Most people would not go to Cahuenga Boulevard, sit down at a place called FukuBurger and upgrade one of the crazy burgers to... a 40-ounce patty. In these last remaining hours, you are not most people.
Next year, you take the stairs. This year, you dump caviar on them. There’s a restaurant up north now offering “The Decadence Staircase”—it’s a little staircase with stuff like Wagyu and caviar on each step. Goes for $1,200. Maybe next year you stick to the elevator after all.
