They say a watched pan of pizza never boils.

No, hold on. That sounds wrong. It’s a pot of penne. A watched pot of penne never boils.

Actually, wait. We’ve got it. It’s definitely “A watched plate of linguine carbonara is a dish best served somewhere in Brickell.”

Yup, there you go.

Meet Vapiano, a self-serve lunchtime haven for made-to-order bowls of pasta, thin-crust pizza and midday vino, now open in Brickell.

Keep this airy, two-story Italian bistro in mind the next time you’re hungry. And it’s the afternoon. And someone in the office is demanding calzones.

Arrive with a group, stop by the hostess stand and pick up an electronic card. That’s going to record your order as you move from station to station. Good, now that we’ve established that, time to divide and conquer.

Send one person to the pasta station to supervise the homemade ravioli Bolognese. Someone else should be by the pizza oven to make sure the Pesto con Spinaci pie is ordered extra-crispy. And as for you, well, you’ll be waiting at the bar with a round of Peronis.

Then, when it’s time to dine, reconvene over at a large wooden communal table. It’ll have a few potted basil plants in the middle. Yes, those are there for you to pick and garnish with.

Or, you know, water.