Obama versus Wilson. Serena versus the ref. Kanye versus Taylor.

It's really getting ugly out there. We say it's time to cool off. Put on your favorite T-shirt. Step into the sun. And drown yourself in beer.

Welcome to Septemberfest, a happily sloppy ode to all things American—by which we mean endless beer and a barbecue—going down Saturday afternoon on the Paramount lot.

As you might've ascertained from the name, the event is inspired by a certain celebration usually taking place a month later. But in this case, the 200 free-flowing beers come sans lederhosen. (Sounds like progress to us.) The ticket price includes all the beers you can quaff—which basically means they're paying you to attend, not the other way around.

If you do decide you'd like to ingest something other than hops, they've rounded up the Border Grill truck, a sausage bar and plenty of burgers—the food's not included in the cost of admission, but it is cheap. (Everything's about five bucks, max.)

Maybe Kanye just needed a burger.