There is a war raging on the frontlines of the internet: Twitter. Surely you’ve been pulled into the combat, but if you’ve been blissfully unaware, please give the following clip a listen.
What do you hear?! Yanny or Laurel pic.twitter.com/jvHhCbMc8I
— Cloe Feldman (@CloeCouture) May 15, 2018
Whatever you were before, you must shed that identity and completely resign to being either a Yanny or a Laurel. Forget the life you lived before. Your wife and children will be taken care of. Fear not.
To uphold journalistic integrity, I must disclose that I am a proud Yanny and think that anyone who hears Laurel is without a doubt a narc. But despite the peace I've found with my own personal truth, the internet rages on. Now, usually, any sort of disagreement on the internet that I fall into makes me feel worn out and exhausted. But this particular battle is what, I believe, makes Twitter great. Or rather, it is the kind of debate Twitter was made for.
As you probably are aware, there is a much more serious and literal war being fought between Israel and Palestine, and Twitter is ablaze discussing that as well. But that conflict cannot be solved online. Sometimes, it feels helpless to even engage. Even something with less real-world consequences, like whether Donald Glover's "This Is America" video is saying this or saying that, is overwhelming. There is no real end point. And people can end up feeling as if their viewpoints aren't valid.
The Yanny-Laurel debate has zero consequences. It's like the color wars at the end of summer camp. You put your heart and soul into the fight, will literally throw a kid into the lake, but at the end of the day you're all getting picked up by your mom in her Subaru. No one loses. Plus, there's a very simple explanation as to why we hear different things.
I’m so tired of this shit... pic.twitter.com/TuSwhMHxQ1
— Ryan Fortson (@r_fortson) May 16, 2018
Despite the hard scientific evidence, however, my opinion remains unchanged. Y'all Laurel-hearers are undercover cops.