My wife sleeps under blankets and a comforter, like a normal person. I typically sleep, when I manage to sleep, with a single pillow on top of me, as I lay on the comforter outside of the sheets, in an attempt to stay cool through the night.

We're like fire and ice. But science may ultimately be able to save us, as humanity's pressing need for a dual-climate comforter that maintains two different temperatures in one bed has just been invented.

It’s called the Ultimate Luxe Down Alternative Dual Comforter and it’s currently available for $199-$249 from Crane & Canopy, a creative, online bedding company formed by former Procter & Gamble executive, Karin Sun.

It’s got two sides, one that’s warm, hefty and cozy. And another that’s lightweight and cool. The idea here is that you may like to be toasty and warm in bed at night, while your significant other would be happier if your bedroom was turned into a meat locker.

You could consider separate bedrooms. Or breaking up for a dull but secure life with that more practical person your mother always liked.

Or you could give this comforter a try. You’ll doze under the heavyweight, “all-year” side composed of 10” sewn-through panes. While they’re free to shiver under the less substantial 7”-paned side, dreaming of forced confinement or group masochism or whatever the hell else drives the tortured thoughts of this deranged, cold-seeking person you've allowed into your life.

Either way, you’ll both have a 400-thread-count, extra-long cotton blanket to share, ensuring the hot side of your relationship stays hot, while the cold stays cold. A winning recipe for any successful coupling. Or cheeseburger.