Rumor has it there's some kind of frozen hellscape blowing in from the east.

But you're having a little trouble hearing them.

The waves crashing upon your private beach can be so distracting sometimes.

You're at the Ani Villas Dominican Republic, a 14-suite escape amid vast amounts of white sand on a secluded peninsula in the fishing town of Rio San Juan. Take a look.

You're coming here because A) it's literally freezing outside or B) because being on a secluded, sunny beach with a date is always better than not being on a secluded, sunny beach with a date. Sometimes it's that simple.

Upon entering your villa, you'll need to make a difficult decision: Do you start with an al fresco shower in the courtyard or ride down your water slide? Mull it over during a game of billiards in your open-air living room or whilst getting a hot stone massage on the terrace. You do your best decision-making under the influence of hot stone.

When you part with the attractions of your villa, there'll be a feast awaiting you on the beach. A team of chefs are creating a personalized menu of local hits, think fried fish with green plantains, while a beach butler brings you two a lengthy parade of rum drinks.

And there may come an afternoon when you want to step out of this palm-covered paradise. In which case, you'll simply arrange a little kite-boarding. Or go check out the local humpback whales.

Since you guys are pretty tired of the ones you have back home.