This is the only time you’re going to hear about Soothsayer for the first time. Appreciate that. Take it in. Feel lucky to be alive. Grab a date.

Here we go.

Soothsayer is a charming, friendly neighborhood French-Vietnamese spot that just opened up in the East Village.

It began with a Kickstarter campaign and a dream, which is a credit to Kickstarter. Below, we have several situations you’ll find yourself in here, and how to act in each.

At a two-top in the back, charming a date with your witty repartee on the current cinema or the state of American politics.
Add in a delicately manicured plate of mussels and a couple glasses of wine and you’re in good shape.

Sitting at the bar with a look on your face that onlookers interpret as “mysterious” but actually indicates insatiable hunger.
Build in some time to stare at that giant lit-up Turkish onyx slab behind the bar, then proceed directly to the banh mi burger.

Sitting at the long chef’s table in the back with a friend.
Shoot the breeze with friend, make new friend of one of chefs so they try extra hard on your particular smoked duck breast.

Yearning for terrace life.
It will be so as soon as the present climate is defeated.