Today we’ll just jump right into Lush, this new sex toy with technology to execute all sorts of unnecessary yet curiously intriguing operations. It’s available for preorder now and shipping in December.

These are things about it:

It’s your average smartphone-controlled vibrator.
Once you and your partner download the app, either of you can control the toy within 30 feet of each other. Or from anywhere, so long as you’re both connected to the Internet.

It’s ideal for long-distance couples. Or when one wants to add an element of challenge to a power lunch.

Your Apple Watch works it.
You can send orders to the toy with a few discreet taps. You knew you’d figure out a reason that thing exists.

Vibration patterns are part of this.
Make patterns on the app that vary the toy’s intensity and save them for future experimentation. Share them with other users. Download theirs. Try to block out the inherent strangeness of these features.

Sound-activated vibration is a thing.
You can sync it to vibrate with music. It’ll also use a phone’s microphone to pick up surrounding sounds. So, if it were taken to a club, for instance...

Have fun at bag check.