This town could use some good ball news right about now.

And here it is: the Somerville Bubble Soccer League, the Boston area’s first organized league for a sport that involves wearing giant bubble suits and running into people at high speeds, now registering teams and free agents for the fall league beginning September 17.

We’ll try to make as much sense of this as we can:

It’s pretty much soccer.
You score points by kicking a soccer ball into a net. But you do so while strapped inside an enormous, Bubble Boy–like contraption that will also serve as your own personal battering ram.

You still can’t touch the ball.
Helpfully related: you can’t move your arms.

They’re currently accepting both free agents and four-person teams.
Better sign up now as “The Bubble Gump Shrimp Company” before someone else does.

They’ll be playing indoors at Somerville’s Winter Hill school.
As good a place for bipedal bubble combat as any.

You could also rent out their bubble suits for a private party.
And play a private game. Otherwise you’re just standing around in bubble suits.

Jake Gyllenhaal played the starring role in Bubble Boy.
Just thought you’d want us to mention Bubble Boy again.