An oyster is a work of art.

You don’t need more evidence.

Nor would you turn away from more evidence.

Because of Upholstery Store: Food and Wine, a West Village charmer for quiet wine-drinkings and oyster-havings, and the best restaurant with a colon in the name you’ll hear about all day. It’s opening tomorrow in an old furniture store along Washington Street.

Dates and more dates and the marginally employed typing their novels during afternoons over wine. Those are the tales that’ll unfold here. Other tales include all of the beautiful images you see below.


Maybe you didn’t believe us about the charm. You were wrong.



It’s like a paint by numbers where a date just gets placed somewhere in the center.



Where bivalve is a blank canvas, these folks apply cucumber and mint to the medium.



Michelangelo’s Pietà. The Death of Marat. This (it’s uni and pickled celery).



Look, the point is, they pay attention to the oysters (with passion fruit and seaweed here).



And the whiskey Negronis.



They just call that “Winter Medley.” They need a new menu vocabulary guy.



That’s vodka, reduced beets and horseradish foam. They call it By the Yard. Okay, that’s a good one.



Baked apple with goat cheese...


Look, we’re free tonight if you are.