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Mid-January: Frustrated by an inability to enjoy outdoor rooftop-imbibing through the winter months, an enterprising NYC programmer develops High Water, an app providing on-demand portable hot-tub delivery to any rooftop in New York.
Arbor Day: Spa Castle Manhattan expands its already-impressive range of services to include an eight-handed massage actually performed by Mohini, eight-armed enchantress and female representation of the Hindu god Vishnu.
July 7: Hangover IV services, once hailed as savior of beverage-enjoyers everywhere, go bust when Wylie Dufresne’s landmark breakthrough in hangover-less alcohol is revealed.
Fashion Week: The after-party scene is dominated by Down&Up, a west Chelsea club with a dance floor made of luminescent spikes and a ceiling that’s flat. Also: there is no gravity.
Thanksgiving Day: The Torrisi team soft-opens Marroquin, a downtown hot spot doing refined twists on the cuisine of Civil War–era Guatemala. Only those with the initials X.V. are admitted.
Okay, that’s probably the most likely one.