The crack of the bat. The roar of the crowd. The... opportunity to eat like some kind of starved lunatic. Yep, it’s baseball season. And today’s home opener kicks off with a few new names on the diamond. And, more relevant to your between-inning snacks, a few new names at the concession stand.

Now, let’s break down the most pressing stats.

24-inch Asian beef sandwiches with spicy slaw named for our new center fielder: 1 (the Choomongous)
Number of dollars said Choomongous will set you back: 26
Number of Choomongouses Shin-Soo Choo can buy with his new contract: 5 million
Chill factor of the frozen Kirin Ichiban beer: 20 degrees
Unofficial reason Yu Darvish isn’t starting today: brain freeze
Where to find the new maple-glazed bacon on a stick: sections 25, 36 and 326
Where to find Prince Fielder during the seventh-inning stretch: sections 25, 36 or 326
Number of pizzas that are also burgers: 1, the aptly named Pizza Burger
Ounces of Nolan Ryan beef that’s topped with cheese and pepperoni, wrapped in a pizza crust and baked to a glorious golden brown: 8
Number of no-hitters thrown by Nolan: 7
Achievement that’s more impressive: toss-up