Right now, significant portions of our fair nation lie covered in snow. So you know what that means: it’s probably January. Also, pretty good time to have a snowball fight. Below: everything you need to fling the cold stuff like a seasoned pro.
What: A handheld igloo-construction tool. Fill it with snow, adjust your block size, stack,
repeat. Congratulations, you’re now 1/16th Eskimo.
Why: You’re going to need someplace to lay low when the snowballs start really flying.
Bring beer.
What: A snowball slingshot/rifle hybrid that forms three perfect, softball-sized snowballs
and then rapidly launches them up to 50 feet.
Why: See the part about rapidly launching snowballs up to 50 feet.
What: An indestructible sheet of lightweight polycarbonate that’s capable of withstanding
a 12-gauge shotgun blast. Yup, it’s a police-issued riot shield.
Why: Because sometimes the best offense is a good defense. Or riot shield.
What: A pair of waterproof merino-wool gloves with sticky-gripped palms ideal for the
formation and heaving of spherical snow bombs.
Why: Snow is cold.
What: An aluminum attachment that turns any pressure washer into a high-powered snow-making
machine capable of producing up to 15 feet of snow per hour.
Why: Maybe you’re out of ammo. Maybe you live somewhere warm. Maybe you’re reading this
in July.
