Royal Albert Hall.

Fillmore East.

Red Rocks.

You know what’s wrong with all those places?

None of them is walking distance to the blackjack tables at the Cosmopolitan...

Not the case at The Chelsea, Vegas’s shiniest, newest, massive place to see incredibly famous and talented people ply their trade for you. It’s opening up on December 29.

What you’re working with here is two levels of glorious molded chandeliers (the place is meant to look like an abandoned glass factory that was turned into a theater), dressing-room-lit grand staircases and private opera boxes spread out over 40,000 square feet of the Cosmopolitan. Basically, a palace of entertainment.

And you’ve got two directions to go in: first, buy a ticket. Then, kick your feet back (which is your right in a box) and take in some Bruno Mars. He’s christening the place with a string of performances. You know, before he plays at a little football game in Jersey.

Or you can rent the whole damn thing out for your own private purposes.

Yeah, we were thinking karaoke, too.