Nightlife

Paranormal Festivity

The Hot List: 2013 Holiday Parties

You’re going to hear a lot about holiday parties in the weeks ahead, and everyone else is going to hear much more about yours. Here are the finest new seaside balconies and sexiest Hollywood bordellos available to host your party this year—because nothing says holidays like a good Hollywood bordello.

THE TMZ-PROOF HIDEOUT

Hakkasan’s Lotus Room

You Require: A dramatically long table at the end of a paparazzi-proof private entrance. Your canapés are top secret.
You’ll Receive: A dim-sum-covered slab of marble in Hakkasan’s discreet banquet room with hand-carved ivory screens. For the Secret Santa portion, everyone exchanges bad scripts.

THE OLD-TIMEY HOTEL PARTY

No Vacancy’s Private Bar

You Require: A warm welcome through a hush-hush secret passage into a beautiful (fake) Hollywood hotel. Also, gin.
You’ll Receive: A private mahogany bar and balcony on the second floor of No Vacancy, with all the red velvet sofas, boudoir paintings and antique ornaments you’d expect. It’s the most bordello time of the year.

THE WEHO LOBSTER BOAT

Connie and Ted’s

You Require: An opulent East Coast seafood feast, from a place that knows the proper spelling of “chowda.”
You’ll Receive: Connie and Ted’s wooden-walled private room that looks like you’re inside a Martha’s Vineyard lobster boat. With a better wine list.

THE DOWNTOWN WINE BAR

Terroni’s Market Cafe

You Require: The smooth timber curves of a wintry ski chalet, with the uncut pizzas of a Terroni.
You’ll Receive: Your own modern wine bar tucked into Terroni’s ground floor, with communal seating surrounded by rows and rows of olive oil and wine. In case you’re interested.

THE STUNNING BEACH BALCONY

Nikita’s Club House

You Require: Christmas on the beach. Because you can.
You’ll Receive: An exclusive, champagne-stocked redwood balcony jutting from Nikita’s second-story clubhouse, right on the water. Keep an eye out for weather advisories, though. Might dip below 70.