In three days, it’ll officially be summer. Which... yeah, pretty arbitrary—you’ve been summering for weeks now. And somehow, doing so without the aid of bottle-opening titanium sunglasses and indestructible Solo cups. Well, no more. Herewith, all the necessary tools for summer survival...
You know Solo cups. They’re... red. And cups. They’re not made out of 100% stainless steel and stored in a bombproof aluminum briefcase. Unless they’re these particular suds-servers. Really, there’s no universe in which you shouldn’t own these.
It’s not a proper backyard barbecue without a live folk band. Or a one-man trance DJ. Or the entire Bone Thugs-N-Harmony crew. So here’s a new Airbnb-like website that’ll let you book those artists and rent all the necessary equipment. So, yes, they have fog machines.
It’s simple. Somebody made the executive decision that you should be able to open a beer with your sunglasses. So they went and made you some Wayfarer-esque shades out of titanium and carved little bottle openers into the arms. There’s absolutely no way this could end badly.
Surfline: they’re basically the Weather Channel of surf reports. Your iPhone: it’s basically that electronic thing you’re unhealthily tethered to. Put them together, and you’ve got this app that displays 140 live surf break webcams across the country. Now to learn how to surf...
Summer is a complex, complicated beast. So we’ve gone ahead and gotten you some help. Also, some Perks. Think: the most delicious iced coffee, the handsomest hidden flasks and the best lawn game ever imported from Sweden. Sounds good, we know. We’ll be doing this all summer. Starting... now.
