If your measurements are in the 36-24-36 range, this will interest you.

If your measurements are not in the 36-24-36 range, this will... definitely interest you.

And if you’re Sir Mix-a-Lot, we hope all has been well with you.

Anyway, here comes Agent Provocateur, a London-based boutique filled with the kind of semi-rebellious, fully sexy lingerie that you’ll deploy on the occasional birthday, holiday or very well-played third date, opening Saturday in Phipps Plaza.

Assuming you have experience in lingerie stores that look like undercover dominatrix boudoirs, you know the deal here. Black-and-pink-striped doors. Lacy carpets. Satin underthings hanging everywhere. In short, it’s the perfect place to spend an afternoon helping a certain someone find a certain set of somethings to don at a mutually beneficial time.

Yeah, that.

And hey, they have bikinis, too. So you could always go there for those. And if the lucky giftee wants to look around, that’s her business. If she wants to try on the Iyla Suspender (that’s French Chantilly lace and fishnet) or a Daniellah Corset (yes, they’re all named after women) while she’s at it... well, that’s her business, too.

And before you leave, have one of the sales associates (she’ll be the one in a pink clinical uniform and gold heels) show you to the gold-banded leather cat whips.

They’re probably for whipping cats or something.