When you were a kid, you went to the petting zoo.

There were goats and sheep and ponies. It was great.

But you’re an adult now.

And adults... well, adults go to wolf petting zoos.

Kind of like this one called Wolf Encounters, your chance to feed, pet and literally rub elbows with an actual pack of wolves, taking reservations now for March 10 and 17 at the North Georgia Zoo in Cleveland.

Kevin Costner danced with them. Liam Neeson had aggressive staring contests with them. Duran Duran was hungry like them. And you... are pretty much just going to pet them.

But it’s going to be fantastic.

So jump in the car, head toward the mountains and stop when you get to the North Georgia Zoo. It’ll be the place with all the wolves. It’ll also be the place where you’ll rendezvous with their handler and pray to whoever you need to pray to before heading off to the giant outdoor enclosure.

You’ll step in. You’ll smell like fear. You’ll... find that these guys are actually quite pleasant. Who knew. And not only will you get to spend a full hour just playing around with them, but they’ll even take time out of their busy schedules to pose for some pictures with you.

On the count of three, everyone say “Don’t eat our faces.”