The market's been downright unnerving lately, and it's time you found something new to do with your reserves…other than scotch. So we're making the boldest move we can come up with. That's right, we're investing in art.

Introducing Trust Art, an online quasi stock market that lets you invest in the city's last booming industry: the art world.

We're through with dogs playing poker, so we're thinking of going long on the million-dollar plan to put 35-foot granite sculptures off the shore of Maine—let's face it, the yachters have it coming—but you'll have nine others to choose from, including a perfume fountain and a documentary starring everyone in the world, both of which should be more lucrative than the S&P.

Once you find one you like, throw them some cash (it can be as little as $1) and wait for the money to roll in. It comes from folks behind Fame Game, so you can use the same tools to see who's investing, who's being talked about and exactly how plugged into the art scene you are (ranging from "Damien Hirst" to "that guy who dances on the C train"). After a year, the works will go up for auction—think Sotheby's, not eBay—and you'll get a slice of the proceeds.

Along with the satisfaction of adding a few hazards to the Maine coastline.