Soon, you’ll be making promises to be a better person. Until then, you can continue to be the person you are. Or even a worse person. Here are your anti-resolutions for what’s left of 2012.
You love sexy, bronze-colored beauties born in 1981. Especially as a date. And if you’d like a similar scotch, Strega Waterfront is offering rare Glenmorangie with aromas of oak, melon and french toast, for $295 an ounce. French toast is the key to great scotch.
Before you get all “I’m on a diet” in 2013, you can say “diet, schmiet” with this challenge. Think: 40 minutes to consume 40 ounces of shoestring fries, 40 ounces of cheeseburgers and a 40-ounce of malt liquor. Don’t do it the day before you start your new workout regimen.
Next year may be a non-dairy year for you. But you’ve still got a week to try a concoction at the Gallows that involves whey from their housemade cheese curds (used in their poutine), Drambuie, rye and honey. You’ve been meaning to up your curds-and-whey intake.
Speaking of poutine, remember: with cheese curds, gravy and an astronomical caloric rating, it’s a clutch hangover food. Making it less traditional and more fun: poutine tater tots, available now on the tater tots section of the Lower Depths menu. The world needs more tater tot menus.
Two early-life lessons: don’t talk to strangers, and don’t mix liquor and beer. You can violate the second one now that the Parish Cafe is using small-batch English gin and hefeweizen and coffeehouse porter beers to create... gin-and-beer cocktails. And a desire to violate the first lesson.
