Perhaps you better sit down before reading this.

Not because what we’re about to say is particularly shocking...

But because we literally need you to sit in a chair and tell us if it’s pumping out 30,000 BTUs of cold air.

Our guess: probably not.

Our fix: Tempronics Heated and Cooled Office Chair, a simple/comfortable seat with a complex/embedded air conditioner, available now through phone or email orders.

Okay, we know what you’re thinking. This sounds like either a SkyMall special or something you’d find at a Lenox Square kiosk. And to that, we say shame on you. Shame. This is a marvel of modern ergonomic engineering. A seated scientific breakthrough. A small step for man, but a giant, core-temperature-regulating leap for the accounting department.

How it works: well, it’s pretty damn complicated, actually. Embedded in the mesh netting of the chair is a series of semiconductors. They... do whatever it is that semiconductors do. In this case, generate hot or cold air that is channeled through the cushion. All you need to do is work the controls. And sit.

So, clearly, you’ll want to order one of these for your desk. And three for your kitchen, two for your patio and another six when tailgating season rolls around again in the fall.

In France, this doubles as a pleasure device.