Thornton and Jolie. Rodman and Electra. Spears and—that one guy. The Vegas Shotgun Wedding Hall of Fame. Next up: you. Maybe. The Cosmopolitan’s new Pop-Up Wedding Chapel deals in both real and faux weddings (you know, all the pomp, none of the legal issues). In advance of Valentine’s Day, we’ve laid out the specs for you:

Hours of advance booking required to get married here: 0
Ratio of fake to real weddings performed: 3:1
Extra cost of a legally binding version: $90
Average duration of both: 20 minutes
Number of champagne cans included with basic package: 2
Odds your partner’s vision of a “fairy-tale wedding” involves shotgunning canned champagne: 45:1
Cost of Space Eraser wedding ring from vintage gumball machine: $5
Estimated street value of Space Eraser wedding ring: $1.37
Hourly retainer of nearest divorce lawyer (ACD Las Vegas Divorce Lawyers): $500
Complimentary photo booth tokens included: 2
Years a recent couple had been married before renewing their vows here: 40
Number of recent best men to have played guitar in Jane’s Addiction: 1
Number of gratis Marquee VIP passes in the “Going to the Chapel” package: 4
Number of onlookers tearing up outside the chapel’s glass facade: TBD
Days left till Valentine’s Day: 34