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Good Times...

The Most Dubious Moments of 2011

2011: huge. NBA titles were won, goals were exceeded, keys to the city were accepted. But not everything was a highlight. Allow us to point out some of the year’s more dubious achievements.

MAY 22

Tony Romo Plays Hide-and-Go-Seek

The ideal NFL quarterback is a leader. Tough. And most importantly, damn good at hide-and-go-seek. Related: the Cowboys’ QB hosted (and won) a 15-person game of hide-and-go-seek at his bachelor party. Luckily, this game didn’t have a fourth quarter.

JULY 8

Rihanna Sets the AAC on Fire

Rihanna: she’s worked with Jay-Z, she’s won Grammys, she made umbrellas relevant again. But she surprised us all at the AAC, when her fireworks show set the stage on fire. The concert ended early and all 20,000 fans had to go home. On the plus side, the AAC’s fire extinguishers work.

AUGUST 15

The Premiere of <i>Most Eligible Dallas</i>

Dallas: home to classic gentlemen and Texas beauty queens. That’s exactly what Bravo wanted to bring you with Most Eligible Dallas. So when they started filming a former Texas quarterback and a girl from the Sunglass Hut, you knew it was destined for greatness. We’re still holding out for a second season.

NOVEMBER 1

Mafia Runs a Texas-Based Company

Say what you want about organized crime—it gets the job done. Also, very organized. But when Nicodemo Scarfo of the Lucchese mob family was running FirstPlus Financial Group, a publicly traded company out of Texas, the FBI didn’t agree. Here’s hoping Scorsese lands the movie rights...

NOVEMBER 10

Rick Perry Forgets the Third Thing

The governor almost knocked the GOP debate out of the park. But then he started talking about which three agencies of government he would eliminate. The result: 54 seconds of awkward silence, the opening skit on SNL and... something else. Oops.