Slash has improved your life in many ways. The stirring solos. The halftime shows. The hair-care tips. And now he’s auctioning off his stuff. Top hats. Guitars. Leather. And a surprising number of home decor goods. (Watch your back, Nate Berkus.) Here are the five most important items from The Collection of Slash, now on view.

Slash’s Lighters
Lot #: 193
Expected Cost: $100 to $200
How to Use in Conversation: “Here, let me light that for you with my metal cobra.”

Slash’s Oriental Rug
Lot #: 237
Expected Cost: $300 to $500
How to Use in Conversation: “No, those holes aren’t cigarette burns. They were cut out to feed recording-equipment cords through for a wicked jam session.”

Slash’s Velvet Sofa
Lot #: 339
Expected Cost: $400 to $600
How to Use in Conversation: “This was Slash’s couch. Yes, I had it cleaned.”

Slash’s T. Rex
Lot #: 385
Expected Cost: $500 to $700
How to Use in Conversation: “The T. rex is wearing two necklaces—one has a metal skull, and the other is Oscar the Grouch. It’s a profound statement on man’s mortality. And garbage.”

Slash’s Strange Coffee Table
Lot #: 392
Expected Cost: $200 to $400
How to Use in Conversation: “It was a gift from Charlie Sheen. No, seriously, it really was. Yes, I had it cleaned.”