So you’ve still got three days until Valentine’s Day. That’s three days to pretend you had this planned all along, whether “this” is a romantic dinner for your threesome, a rose-petal facial or a plot to get yourself single by February 15.
If your Valentine’s Day has gotten a little crowded (in a good way), the Ménage à Trois package at this off-the-radar WeHo hideaway includes a bottle of bubbly, some hand-dipped white-chocolate bananas and an aphrodisiac-themed dinner for three on the roof. What can you say, sometimes good things come in threes.
So this year you’re thinking made-to-order lingerie, something lacy and barely there. Sure, it’ll take a few weeks, which you don’t have. But tell her to think of it like an early gift for next Valentine’s Day.
On this occasion, not just any spa treatments will do. At the old-school Russian spa Voda, they’ve got rose-petal facials and champagne-oil massages. Neither of you has had champagne rubbed all over your body since at least last week.
Sometimes you need a gift that speaks a thousand subtle, nuanced words. And sometimes you just need a big gold hand with a curling index finger that says, “Come here. Now.” This is the latter. Also, it holds keys.
Of course, if you’ve decided Valentine’s Day is the day you want to get yourself single, you can thoughtfully book the two of you a “Get Dumped” hotel room at the Grafton. It’ll be stocked with Two-Buck Chuck, stale crackers and cheap chocolate. Cranked up on the sound system: crying whales. That should do it.
