Over the weekend, Miami’s nightlife world was rocked by a flashy newcomer: Arkadia at the Fontainebleau. The new lounge inhabits the old Blade space and is a more intimate alternative to the mega-ness of the hotel’s LIV nightclub. We braved a pair of private parties to bring you this data-rich report…

Vegas-style showgirls greeting you after the velvet ropes: 2
Pools flanking the club in a VIP cabana area: 1
Teal-colored pool tables: 1
Ratio of cougars to guys in nightshades: 6:1
Stars from the cinematic masterpiece Sirens: 1 (Elle Macpherson)
Stars from Death to Smoochy: 1 (Ed Norton)
Yankees: 1 (some guy named Rodriguez)
NBA MVPs: 1 (LeBron James, literally taking his talents to Miami Beach)
Times you should point this out to LeBron if you see him: 0
Tables where you can order bottle service: 25
Tables where you can’t order bottle service: 0
Bars with midriff-baring female bartenders: 2
Maximum seconds you should stare at said midriffs: 3
DJs who played in the NBA: 1 (Rony Seikaly)
Sherman Douglas sightings: 0
Wimbledon champs: 1 (Serena Williams)
Nights a week that world-famous DJ Erick Morillo will be holding court: 1 (Thursdays)