If you’ve said it once, you’ve said it a hundred times: home-defense training and fine dining should not be mutually exclusive.

Finally, someone seems to be listening...

Which is why we wanted to let you know about something called Dinner, Drinks and Home Defense, a curious dinner party during which you’ll enjoy exotic meats and learn how to protect yourself from burglars, now taking reservations.

We know: you’ve got an alarm system. And a pack of Dobermans. And Mission: Impossible-style laser beams. But you can never be too careful when it comes to protecting your family/Nintendo Wii.

So here’s how this will go down: you’ll invite six to 10 friends to your home for a dinner party. Your guests of honor: a former SWAT sniper, a former Army medic and a former Army paratrooper, who will start by taking over your kitchen and cooking you a huge meal, complete with booze and dishes like venison and slow-roasted pork (and let’s just say the meat is very fresh).

Then, they’ll proceed to school you on the ABCs of home defense: everything from how to disarm a thug who just kicked in your front door, to how to handle yourself when there’s a burglar in your house and you have five minutes until the cops arrive. They’ll even bust out plastic military-training guns and plastic bats and guide you through a little pseudo hand-to-hand combat.

As far as we know, the threat of ninjas will not be addressed.