Today, we want to talk about the Wild West.

Specifically, how awesome the saloons back then must have been. The spittoons. The petticoats. The card games settled with shoot-outs.

But there’s one thing they were missing: 3-D flat-screens...

Here to correct that oversight: The Nodding Donkey, a huge, relentlessly Western new sports bar in Uptown, slated to open next week for all your football-watching and Back to the Future III-ing fantasies.

Basically, this is the bar that Jesse James might’ve eventually created if he hadn’t been gunned down by that coward Casey Affleck: there’s a big set of longhorns on one wall, the center bar looks like it was swiped straight off the set of Deadwood, and the whole place carries the subtle whiff of brisket. (Plus: there are 18 flat-screens, including the city’s first 3-D screen, with glasses.)

You’ll want to mosey in with a posse, grab a table in the nearly all-wood environs and commence with the ordering of canned beers, Donkey Punch served in mason jars and comfort food-y vittles like Deep-Fried PB&Js, Bacon-Wrapped Kobe Hot Dogs and BBQ Brisket Grilled Cheese (courtesy of two huge meat-blasting smokers).

And because every good saloon has a place for borderline-illegal gaming, you’ll also notice a nice-sized patio—connected to the interior by four glass garage doors that open up—with plenty of outdoor seating and two beanbag courts for Shiner-fueled contests of accuracy and stamina.

We recommend investing in a holster.