You have your go-to's for closing the deal. The power lunch at the Palm. The power dinner at Milano. The subtle presence of your 300-pound assistant, Curly.

And now, a secret cigar club in Old Town.

Enter CXIII Rex in Alexandria, a private retreat for your puffing pleasure, now accepting memberships for a June launch.

Think of this as part classic Playboy Club, part Goldfinger's lair. You'll enter through Landini Brothers, Old Town's stone-and-wood pasta palace, and ride up the private elevator to the second-floor space, a former Revolutionary-era warehouse. (We'll assume they housed leftover tricornered hats.) Amid the original brick and oak beams, you'll practice the art of the deal in custom-designed leather and walnut club chairs. (You never hold court on pleather.)

But every stick needs a carrot. For that you'll turn to the all-female staff for a round of single malts and some stone crab legs, oysters and caviar. Then lead your future partners to your personal, climate-controlled humidor and withdraw a handful of Churchills (you'll need that slow burn; you've got a lot of negotiating—and scotch—ahead of you).

Once your deal is inked, you'll need to tell the world. So you'll make use of the club's mobile phones, iPads and laptops, or tap the services of the private concierge, who will stick around until she sends your last fax.

Or until your Churchill burns out.