There's trouble down here on the ground: Speed traps. Tourists. Congress.

What you need is a way to get above it all. Ideally, with steel blades whipping over your head at 400 rpm.

Which brings us to the Introductory Lessons at American Helicopters, an ultra-patriotic outfit of aviators taking reservations now to hand you the stick of an actual chopper.

This is your chance to make like those daring chopper pilots of yore, who launched rescue missions in dangerous jungles, then later in life whisked Magnum, PI, around Hawaii.

You'll head out to Manassas Regional Airport (aka the LaGuardia of Manassas), meet up with your instructor and head out to your ride. After the usual safety check and a review of the instruments (the "What does this button do?" portion of your afternoon), you'll strap in, put your headset on and pick a code name for yourself. (Note: the pilot will probably just stick with your real name.) And then, you'll be off.

Now, let's be clear: you won't be doing the actual landing or taking off. But once you leave terra firma, the instructor will let you take the controls for as long as you like during your jaunt over Prince William County.

Typically, you'll be enclosed in the two-seater's glass canopy. But as the weather warms up, they like to take the passenger-side door (that's yours) off for a little extra ventilation.

Makes it easier for you to flash a "victory" sign to your admirers.