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Ugly Sweaters for Fun and Profit

When people tell you that you look good in anything, it's always good to trust, but verify. So pull on that acrylic snowflake number and head to these bad sweater parties, which also happen to be the best way to get the most out of your $5.99 thrift store investment.

RED AND GREEN BEER

Contest at Timothy O'Toole's

The Scene: This subterranean Streeterville pub is not exactly known for its aesthetic snobbery—see that cheesy French fry monstrosity called Irish Nachos. So you're not risking many style points here if you saunter in for a free buffet, $8 pitchers and the chance to wear that tinsel-woven cable-knit number tonight.

The Worst Sweater Gets: A $200 Gift Card to Water Tower Place.

WRIGLEYVILLE HORROR

Sheffield's Coat and Can Drive

The Scene: Watching a Bears game lately has been sort of an ugly business anyhow, so a few hideous reindeer sweaters won't make matters worse. On the plus side, you'll have access to $4 Magic Hat and the usual assortment of house-smoked barbecue to smother your sorrows in.

The Worst Sweater Gets: Cubs tickets; Sheffield's Gift Cards; assorted beer paraphernalia

KNOT COOL

Chicago Sport and Social's Party

The Scene: This cavernous Bucktown beer hall will welcome anyone with an elf sweater, Santa hat or Christmas tree ornaments hanging from their ears, so you can only imagine what they'll think when they see where you can hang your tinsel.

The Worst Sweater Gets: Nothing. But if you bring a toy for charity, you get free brew for an hour.

FASHION SHOOTS

Charity Drive at Luxbar

The Scene: In the Viagra Triangle, tacky outfits are strictly verboten. So it's refreshing that Luxbar will not only welcome you if you look like you fell into a glitter-filled ditch, they'll also offer you $5 pumpkin martinis, a sexy waitstaff and a sense of utter belonging.

The Worst Sweater Gets: $250 cocktail card; $20 gift cards for those bringing in clothing for the Salvation Army. (Ironic, we know.)

BOWLED OVER

Tacky Sweater Party at 10Pin

The Scene: Ah, yes: the bowling alley on Christmas. It's a scene Norman Rockwell never got the chance to immortalize. So don your merriest ensemble for this DJ-fueled night of merrymaking, $6 cocktails and $5 Jack Daniel's. But remember, every time you pull off a 7-10 split, an angel gets her wings.

The Worst Sweater Gets: A chance to win a trip for two to Jamaica, where sweaters (ugly or otherwise) aren't allowed.