The weekend is catching up on Conan.
If you started the weekend naked and dehydrated, help is on the way. This week Perks brings you 20 percent off at any Billy Reid shop in the country (and online) starting tomorrow, along with a few crates of FIJI water.
What you have in common with Sinatra, Steve McQueen and FDR: not as much as you'd like. Help bridge the gap this week by raising an online paddle at this auction, which includes timepieces from the aforementioned trio, as well as the King of Cool's vintage Scott motorcycle. (License not included.)
Say this for those living the black-intensive goth lifestyle: They've got commitment. Happily for the rest of us, this often leads to hilarity, as repeatedly demonstrated by this self-explanatory website. (Pictures are even rated on a gothiness to sweatiness scale.) Browse while wearing your finest summer whites.
Because there are only so many times you can tell someone the jerk store called, there's now an app that can craft a perfectly eccentric insult for you. (Sample: "You naive progenitor of a vagabond kelpie.") Just give your phone a shake, and Sir Insult-a-Lot will spit out one of 20 million possible zingers. Use them all next time someone cuts you off.
From your sparkling conversation skills to your legendary burger flipping routine (the infamous "Angry Manatee"), you know how to get attention at a BBQ. Still, these whimsical bottle openers—available with shocked, crazy or happy faces—are worth adding to your arsenal. And as a nifty bonus, they also open bottles.
There are certain key topics that the Good Book doesn't cover—scoring Springsteen tickets, when to wear white and drinking. (Well, there is that water-into-wine bit.) Here to save the day: Esquire, which has just devoted a considerable amount of online ink to the art of imbibing—from the Best Bars in America to how not to get drunk. We'll raise a glass to that.
