The ScapeGoat, a dark and mysterious new late-night drinkery South of Fifth, wants you to know it's not your fault that you'll be spending too much time there.
After all, it's the one keeping you and your date in gin that's been blended generously with honey syrup and lemon juice. It's the one with the rare, American-made liquors that you won't find anywhere else in Miami. It's the one that's open now and looks just like this.
You'll show up as day turns into night. Or stay as night turns into day. It's a late-night kind of place where the Room used to be. Only now it has swiveling stools and a glossy black bar with Carrera marble. And drinks. It definitely has drinks.
As you take your seats, also take inventory of the mirrors and vintage portraits on the walls. Then, the beers: pilsners, black lagers, IPAs, wits, ciders, strong ales. But while those will sound inviting, it'll actually be the El Tipo Beltran that winds up in your glass. A glass smoked with wood chips to add aroma to the bourbon and rum blend.
When you're ready, make for one of the dark green, velvet banquettes near the window or to one of the wooden tables adjacent the bar. Space-wise, it's intimate. Tiny, even. Which means everything, including another round of those honey-forward numbers, is easily within reach.
Again, totally not your fault.