When you were a child, you dreamed about what Chicago's first cider house would be like.

Would there be Chai Dar-tea-infused cider? Would there be crispy duck tacos? Would it be more fancy than it had to be?

Those were some awkward years. Also: yes, yes and yes.

Welcome to Eris Brewery & Cider House, a Masonic temple-turned apple-based funhouse that's opening as early as this weekend in Old Irving Park. Feel free to poke around right here in the meantime.

Upon arrival, you’ll notice some decidedly classy touches. A hand-painted brick wall and a vintage safe greet you in the lounge. Further inside, two stories of ornate light fixtures, wooden tables and a bar are separated by repurposed metal radiators that somehow end up sexy.

Make yourself comfortable in one of the tufted booths and then make yourself more comfortable with some of those crispy duck tacos. The menu takes a cue from all the booze-making that's happening behind a glass wall next to the kitchen. Feel free to reference the cider-braised pork banh mi and the porter-braised short ribs.

Eventually, someone will note that you're sitting in a cider house, yet are severely lacking cider. Remedy that with the classic Pedestrian dry cider, the dry-hopped Prickle-Prickle or one of the house brews such as Fnord beet beer.

Which is a great excuse to say the word "Fnord" a bunch of times.