"God, would someone open a beautiful date spot on the Dumbo waterfront already?"—Absolutely no one.

And yet, Dumbo's destiny to be our city's premier date neighborhood continues to unfold this week with the Osprey, an attractive space full of plants and healthy-ish American fare, now open inside 1 Hotel Brooklyn Bridge. 

The views: solid. You're quite literally on the East River, so sunsets will be lovely the way sunsets over the East River tend to be, should you be dining at 3pm or whenever it is the sun sets these days. The bird theme: palpable, but not in a weird way. They draw a line at their name, cocktail names and framed feathers on a slated wood dining room wall.

Moving on, it really is beautiful in here. Sort of got that greenhouse vibe that seems to be trending this fall (it could be Midtown East's Eden's hipper younger sister). Look up and you've got strings of tiny hemp-wrapped lanterns hanging overhead, look pretty much anywhere else and you've got shrubs and hanging plants, look down and, man, hopefully by this point you've got a dish of baby beets with whipped feta and candied hazelnuts in front of you and a Red Tail (bourbon, amaro, turmeric chai, Aperol) to wash it down.

The chef's from the acclaimed Tribeca establishment known as Locanda Verde, bless both his soul and his cooking abilities, and he's got a rotisserie to work with here. While that may not sound like something to write home about, it's producing some particularly delicious Berkshire pork chops (with pickled peppers and heirloom grits), prime rib (with horseradish and crushed potatoes) and roasted chicken (with savory cabbage and parsnips).

Brunch launches tomorrow, too, and they're doing Robins (that's Osprey for Bloody Mary) and bread pudding-French toast, amongst other less vital things. 

Our photographer really outdid himself on this shoot, if we're being honest, so get in here.