-Oscar Wilde. But you knew that already.

Now let's take a note from Mr. Wilde and more-than-exist at the longest bar in New York dedicated to his namesake.

The absinthe cocktails, 300 whiskeys and extravagant historical environment should help... 

It's called Oscar Wilde, it's from the guys behind the similarly ornate Lillie's Victorian Establishment, and it's opening this Wednesday in Chelsea. What you'll do and experience here is best expressed by the numbers, so let's do that right now...

Length of said record-smashing bar, in feet: 118.5

Number of whiskeys at your disposal: 300+

Time set on the clocks, commemorating the time of Wilde's death: 1:50

Decade in which that beautiful French fireplace was crafted: 1840s

When the English Grandfather clock was born: 1884

Other historical knicks and knacks we could mention, but won't: ∞

Absinthe drip cocktails served by the absinthe fountain: 1

Pun-involving cocktail names: plenty

Related: gin-cherry liqueur drinks called "50 Shades of Dorian Gray": 1

Odds you'll see someone Instagramming the decor: 1:1

Beers on tap: 32

Year in which this building housed the Prohibition Enforcement Headquarters: 1919

Date on which the total opposite of the above will be celebrated: 08/16/2017

Odds you'll be sufficiently hungover the next day: 85%

Looks you'll get at it: many, right here.