Welcome to Wednesday. We spent the morning reading the entire Internet for the 10 bits of news most vital to your being. Then we made up a quote about each one that you might ponder, overhear or maybe even deploy over the course of the day. We call it The Cooler, and we suggest sprinkling it liberally over your daily conversation.

1. “It would be weird if a David Sedaris shopping trip in Tokyo didn’t end in a New Yorker story.”

2. “No doubt, Kanye tweets make for exceptional greeting cards.”

3. “I’m going to Harvard. Where else will I find pigment from beetle extracts, poisonous metals and human mummies?”

4. “Yeah, I saw the meals from Wuthering Heights ranked by sadness. Epic idea.”

5. “Guess we can’t use alcohol being good for our health as an excuse anymore.”

6. “Must be hard to live life in the shadow of someone like Pee-wee Herman.”

7. “My goal this year is to join the 2.7% of healthy Americans. Sounds doable.”

8. “That podcast is my only hope at getting my daily West Wing fix.”

9. “So that’s what a Donald Trump portrait made entirely of Peeps looks like...”

10. “Adele’s tribute to the Brussels victims last night was immense. I’ve never heard her do Bob Dylan before.”